I went to the library to read/do devotional today, and put in some more cards in library books.
I saw a cemetery on the way there, and while biking home, I decided to stop by and look at the tombstones.
Most of the tombstones only had the name of the person, the date of their birth, and the date of their death. Most of them were very old, and some were so old that the words weren't legible.
It was very sobering.
A whole human life, and the only thing left are these tombstones, the surviving family and friends' memories of them, and whatever physical objects or works they left behind.
And after their family and friends die, and time passes by, it'll be as if they never existed.
We are all getting closer to our death everyday. I would joke and say on my birthday, "I'm one year closer to death!" but it's true. I'm 22, going on 23 next month...if I only live about 80 years, about 25% of my "battery" is already gone.
I biked home and decided that I didn't want to waste my life living selfishly and being lazy. I want to serve God, I want to do great things for Him.
I'm reading Noel Piper's "Faithful Women and Their Extraordinary God" and read the story of Esther Ahn Kim, a Korean Christian woman who lived through the Japanese occcupation of Korea. She refused to bow down to the pictures of the Japanese goddess and emperor, so she eventually got arrested and had to stay in prison for years.
But before she got arrested, she prepared for prison by fasting, praying, memorizing the Bible, living simply, and purposely eating bad produce. Can you believe that? How humbling is that? She was preparing for torture, for prison, for death.
But what really surprised me was when she met an Elder who told her that when he saw her, he knew that her faith was "too small".
Too small?? If Esther Ahn Kim, who was preparing to die for the glory of God, had small faith, my faith must be almost non-existent!
Her story is really crazy and inspiring. I highly recommend reading about her life. You can learn a lot from reading biographies.
I hope whatever God wants me to do, wherever He leads me to, I'll just become more and more like Jesus, more gentle, humble, obedient, and just trust and love God no matter what happens. I have a lot of fear and uncertainty about the future...I still am not sure what my "calling" is. But I do know that I have a burden for the teenagers around my area, so I've been praying for them and putting www.everystudent.com
cards in library books and stuff.
I hope God will give me more boldness and courage and love for people! I also need to take the youth group small group more seriously--I "teach" the 9th graders. (I just ask them about the sermon, usually.)